You’re probably thinking that’s a ridiculous title. Isn’t love the ‘reason’ for the wedding in the first place? Well, certainly, that’s what we’re all told. And, so often, we believe what we’re told because we want to. But once you’ve been to a wedding where love was the guest of honour, you will forever know what a wedding is supposed to feel like. No matter how much or how little pomp, no matter how great or small the circumstance, a wedding with love as the guest of honour will leave you floating in a warm, phosphorescent pool of hope and possibility. You will forget your day-to-day troubles because, for one brief shining moment, you will have been allowed to forget that troubles exist.

Love is joy. And there is no duplicate.

I had the great privilege of being invited to a November wedding in Kelowna. It was a beautiful, understated affair…the most exquisite combination of traditional, retro and steampunk. It had all the storybook components: a stunning bride, a handsome groom whose eagerness to meet his bride at the front of the room was palpable, tearful parents, one of the bride’s three beautiful brothers moved to racking sobs as she walked up the aisle, and a room full of people who loved the couple so richly that if our love were currency, we’d make Oprah look like a pauper.

The shindig itself was a demonstration of love and generosity: the bride offering the first dance to her brother and sister-in-law who didn’t have a wedding, the mother-of-the-bride acknowledging (in lovingly teasing fashion) the current and other ex-wives of her ex-husband (and father-of-the-bride), talented friends of the couple offering up their show stopping singing chops to the shock and amazement of everyone. The two families and all the friends mixed, mingled, laughed and danced together until we were forcibly removed from the event venue.

Love stayed for the whole thing. Love sat at everyone’s table. Love produced everyone’s tears then asked its date Laughter to wipe them away. What made this wedding so different?

There are some practical reasons — the most important of which was because the couple were mindful about their guest list. The chose based on love, not on math. It wasn’t about numbers or political correctness…it was about love. They filled the room with people whose joy matched their own. Simple. From where I sat, there was not a soul in the room who was not beaming for them the entire evening.

But the real reason was that the wedding was a reflection of how they treat each other…with generosity, gratitude, silliness, and kindness. As the beautiful bride came up the aisle and all the tear filled eyes in the room were on her, she exclaimed when she saw her soon-to-be husband, “Oh, you’re so handsome!” It was such unpolished, unadorned love. In the moment when everyone traditionally focuses on the bride and her dress and all that…all she saw and cared about was him. The only thing that kept her from sprinting up the aisle to him was her father on her arm.

The fact is Love loves a good story…and a good party. But Love is polite. It waits to be invited all the way in before it makes itself at home. Love is delicate. It can be confused by strife, disrespect, meanness, selfishness, pettiness, and neglect. Surrounded by this negativity, Love will often leave quietly and unnoticed through a back door. And you’ll wake up one day realizing it left without saying good bye.

On the other hand, Love is voracious. When fed kindness, respect, selflessness, and abundance, Love will eat you out of house and home. It will take over every room, nook and cranny. You won’t be able to turn around without finding it staring at you with that silly grin asking, “What you want to do now?” like a Golden Retriever puppy. The more it’s fed, the stronger it will become. And when it’s strong, Love is our Kevlar vest against the assaults of life and time. Couples will fight, we’ll feel afraid of any one of a thousand things, loved ones will get sick…Love will always sit with us and hold our hand. Love is loyal. Love can hold its breath longer than you. Love is kind. If you nurture it, it will handle anything you throw at it. It doesn’t keep a scorecard of wrongs. And Love will always think you’re awesome. There is no mistaking when Love is in the house.

But, if you’re not sure, send Love an invitation…. I can guarantee you this: Love will always RSVP.

~ for LCB